and you probably shouldn’t.
After seesawing this past weekend from spending endless hours in a tiny room listening to every measure, every instrument, murmur and breadth of our music, to being outdoors and in the pool and just loving the trees, the sunshine, the wind and the people I was with, I was hit in the face by the intensity of a fall New York City, upon re-entry. “Wake up! We are not in August anymore, buttercup!”, the city yelled. “I mean business!”
With that, I was greeted by large waves of traffic, rancid moods and the overall exhausting rush of le hustle. But I hadn’t landed from my summer daze yet, and though it set me briefly off course, I still have a toe in the grass, and am daydreaming of dragonflies.
The last month and a half, Have been spent working very closely and deeply with the producer for our album, a man I had never met prior to the first day in the studio. It has been rigorous, amazing, joyful, stressful, the best time ever, the worst time ever and every other emotion in between. Needless to say we are very different animals.
When I went to yoga school, our meditation teacher, David Nichtern, had us make a list of everyone in the class and make three columns next to their name. Above the three columns he had us write ‘I love’, ‘I don’t care’ and ‘I hate’. At the end of the day we were to make a check mark next to the person’s name in the column that described how we felt about them at that time.
Does this seem harsh? Whenever I describe this in class, I always get side glances from people like, ‘whoa, your meditation teacher seems harsh.
The thing was that by the end of a month long intensive, when you looked at the boxes, it was very clear how fickle our emotions are and how quickly and often they change. We are not our emotions, yet our emotions would like us to think we are. That is part of why meditation is so amazing. When we are able to sit with our thoughts and emotions, we see how small and inaccurate they are and how quickly they change. We see that they are not us and we are not them. They lose their power to define us. We see that they are merely the first few layers of what is going on. The quickest responders.
Working with Charlie, I was reminded of this. I almost strangled him several times during the process, and am amazed he didn’t strangle me. I also, almost changed producer. But, he’s so patient and kind and something told I me to stay. I decided to risk being wrong and wait and see if his gifts would unpack over time. It was a gamble, I guess, like most of life and relationships are. But it was so worth it. I now feel that he was exactly the right person to help me bring this project to life. Who he is made it so that the album is going to be absolutely beautiful, and exactly what I want it to be. I don’t think anyone else could’ve gotten us there in this way. At the end of the day, whatever we were feeling in passionate moments didn’t matter, we had to work together.
Sometimes people are not who you want them to be and may not be offering what you want them to offer. If you are able to recognize that and listen, you will be able to hear who they actually are and what they are actually offering. Often times, in my experience, if you are able to get there, it can be more than you bargained for and it can be even better.
Yogis! I lowered the pricing on The Study Sessions as many people seemed interested but couldn’t afford it. The first session is next Sunday sept 18 from 12-5 and we are looking at the yoga of sound and learning about sound as it relates to Sanskrit. If you want to come and still can’t afford it, send me a note.
This coming Friday Sept 9th, I’m teaching an Advanced Practice at Prema Yoga from 6:30-8:30, and Sunday the 11th, from 12:30-2:30, is the first two hour jam at Pure East this fall. If you want to come as my guest, send me a note.
Save the date for the Bhakti Riot Kirtan at Laughing Lotus on Nov 19 at 8pm.
And news on the album is coming very very soooooooon!! Stay tuned.
Happy fall ya’ll!