all thoughts will pass… all thoughts will pass… ~ says the poet Rumi
When things get crazy, I get calm. When things get calm, I get crazy. At least it feels that way. I had a very visceral experience of that a few weeks ago when I was officiating a wedding for two of my students/friends. The stakes were high, there was a lot of pressure and I only knew the bride and groom out of the large wedding party. You can’t mess up a wedding. Well, you can, but karmically, you shouldn’t. That seems like it would be really bad. And I don’t do anything half-assed.
I had created what I like to think of as a yoga ceremony. Though I had been warned that some of the family was very traditional. Maybe it is good that in some ways I had no idea what that meant as I did not grow up here and have not been to that many weddings. But part of me knew that it might not involve spiky hair, gender queerness and yoga. But I can only speak to what I know so…
In my mind it had the same shape of a yoga class, if you can imagine that. The difficulty was that I was faced with a class of true beginners, actually better than true beginners, they were unwilling beginners in that they had not really signed up for the class- actual non-yogis. They exist!!! I had no idea…
I knew I had to get them on board fast, and I wasn’t sure my roguish charm and strapping good looks were going to do the trick all by themselves. On the day of, the energy was wild, extremely charged. There was even a great storm happening during the thing itself. Which was great, actually as I love to teach when it is monsooning out. The more charged it got the calmer I got. And I did something I’ve never done before. Not really. I. Took. My. Time. Like really took my time. You know what the key was? My breath. Yoga in action, my friends. Nothing like deep breaths to get you through anything in life. It was such a powerful experience that I actually feel quite changed after it. Almost on a DNA level. Like I have acquired a super power or a siddhi from all of my tapasya (discipline).
It was one of those moments that happen rarely where everything I have ever practiced was simply there to support me effortlessly simply because I have practiced it for so long. I love and live for those moments. The gongs of clarity. The “aha” moments. I’ve had many physical ones throughout the years, but never experienced such an esoteric one. It was cool and weird. Beautiful and magical.
It’s been a whirlwind of a month. The highs have been extremely high and the lows have been extremely low. I’m not used to that. Generally things are pretty even with me in my mood and in my life. Even when things get out of whack. This season always feels like a great shift energetically. It draws me in. I go back to my studies. And I clean and open space, both physically and energetically. I find myself loving the time on my mat. Moving feels very meditative. My connection to my breath is strong and I am exactly where I am. And though it feels a bit heavy at times, I don’t feel the need to change it or modify it. It feels amazing to simply be and allow this new feeling, whatever it may be to reveal itself on its own time. Yoga in practice. Yoga in motion.