For The Moms Of Someone Like Me…

For The Moms Of Someone Like Me…

I appreciate and acknowledge that Mother’s Day carries different meaning, weight and emotion for every single one of us. Whatever your experience is being or not being a mom, a parent or a child of a mom is valid. Whatever losses, gains, heartbreaks and joys are held by that word are valid.

Today, Mother’s Day 2021, I am thinking of the brave parents, specifically mothers of non-binary and trans children who are currently having to move, consider moving and/or stepping out to speak in front of unrelenting, heartless commissions of people wishing to police and hinder their rights as parents to look after the wellbeing of their own children.

Commissions of politicians, not doctors, who are looking to put doctors in jail for following their hippocratic oath, make bathrooms inaccessible, put parents in jail for seeking life affirming care for their kids, making businesses put signs on their bathrooms saying trans people use them, and banning trans kids from sports, and checking their genitals amongst other hideous measures, while knowing little about it other than the incendiary language meant to sew insidious seeds of fear out of nowhere.

To be honest, I am beyond exhausted from trying to justify and argue myself into existence in a majority that is afforded the privilege to not be bothered because their ‘being’ is not in question, BUT, being who I am means I am also tasked with that duty unless I want to stand back and see all of my rights and the rights of those who are coming after me obliterated.

Look out for fear flung as a weapon shaped for battle in the form of dehumanization. Dehumanization is one of the clearest ways to ‘other’ so that we can justify taking away someone’s rights. And make no mistake, this has been the most hideous and violent year enacting bills against transgender people, mostly transgender youth, in history.

I can only imagine what being the mom to someone like me entails. The fear for your kid, your heart, out there harassed in bathrooms, being discriminated against in work spaces, love spaces, friend spaces. Being in danger on the street and in airports, if they get pulled over, being declined medical help, or treated like an alien by the staff if they are in an accident.

You may think these are hyperbolic, that these things don’t happen anymore or ever. But I have lived ALL of these experiences. Every single one.

It’s taken my mom and I a long time to arrive at the sweet spot we are in currently and am so grateful for that. It’s been a steep learning curve and a very bumpy road. I am grateful for who she is and the ferocity she has recruited to continue to learn, try to understand and love me.

I am also grateful she did not have to muster the courage to speak out for me when I couldn’t because though she would’ve probably found the energy somehow, I would’ve been mortified that she had to. At least I figured it out so late that I could be my greatest advocate. So no one else had to do it.

We can all help stop these bills, we can continue to call and make a raucous. Even if we don’t live in the state the bill is being passed in. Please do not get numb, fall asleep or turn away. These bills will have huge life or death impacts on lives present and future.

If we say we are for human rights, we must be for all humans and their rights. We should not be the ones to curtail and decide how human and how many rights someone is awarded. It is not yogic. It is not right.

Yoga is the study of our patterning and how this patterning hinders ours own freedom— moksha. Thus, our attachment or aversion to things should be studied and in question for it is what keeps us from our own greatest expression of self. We are our biggest enemies, what gets in the way of our happiness and our joy. None of us are free until all of us are free.

Here are some resources meant to inform and inspire you to take action:

https://www.aclu.org/legislation-affecting-lgbt-rights-across-country

https://chase-strangio.medium.com/how-many-trans-kids-will-die-while-we-await-this-mythic-trans-sports-takeover-8a4ab53324da